p2 : topic sentence : A street singer who was very talented at playing music instruments and singing and want to be a singer
p3: topic sentence support : secondly/furthermore/beside that , he has a nice voice. he give all his money which he got from street singing to his grandmother. his grandmother was paralyzed after an accident.
p4 : topic sentence support ; he joined the singing competition at his own place and he won at first place and bring 100 thousand pound home, with all the money he got, he pay the hospital bill and surgery for his grandmother.after the surgery he continue singing as usual. one man who admiring him so much bring him to New York to become a singer
p5 : conclusion : he now are the popular teen sensation around the world .
Well done.. interesting outline Alia...Bear in mind to check articles - a, an , the and zero article. your singular and plural verbs and nouns.For example a nice voice..Voice is uncountanble.. definitely you cannot use a. For verb... he now are..He is singular .. are is for plural.. So how to correct this???
ReplyDeleteBy the way where is your essay??